Thursday, January 9, 2014

On The Eve (A Poem)

Small town bars
are full of drunken patrons
celebrating the birth
of another new year
as if each stiff drink
were another star to swallow,
each slurred kiss
or staggering arm-twist
means something more
than a meaningless gesture
in a too-crowded room.
We watch them from
the quiet of our couch,
chocolate cake
and a growing mound
of losing lottery tickets
stacked between us,
each one full
of un-granted wishes
and cheap penny dreams.

*written for a prompt at Poets United


  1. Chocolate cake sounds good to me ... and sharing it with someone ... even better. I think you've already hit the jackpot. Smiles :)

  2. I like the cntrast between the bar and the couch and prefer the chocolate cake to the losing tickets. Of course, there is also the parallel between the tickets and the people in the bar, both of which your narrators watch but do not invest in. Don't know much about the couch, but it's the best place in the whole scene, and I am gravitating toward it. Neat poem!

  3. you've caught the scene so well, the stillness and the fury ~

  4. Brilliantly painted picture that captures life and passion, very nicely done.

  5. At this point, I'd skip the crowded bars, but would take the chocolate cake!

  6. I much prefer small celebrations of the new year!

  7. Oh gloom and despair whichever way you choose to celebrate.


Thank you for taking the time to comment, it is so appreciated. Your thoughts and critiques are always welcome! I will be by to visit your blog soon!