Sunday, April 6, 2014

3am Sentiments (A Poem)



My girl reminds me
Of cigars and whiskey,
The cheap coffee of
3am gas stations run
By old men with names
Like Cecil or Silas
along the native backroads
Of a humid Alabama,
Windows rolled down halfway
So I can taste the call
Of beaches, feel the electric
Radio waves of phone calls,
The place where lovers meet
somewhere between slumber and reality.
I have been there before,
Remember the soured
Stench of dead weeds
And dust devils, spinning
Along the sides of highways
That roll past Birmingham,
Radio-full of a club beat night
That makes me think of
Drunken wedding receptions,
Expensive wines by formal names
of things I can’t recall
And I haven’t drank since then.


Written for a prompt at Magpie Tales.

28 comments:

  1. ha. love your description of her...cheap coffee, cigarettes and whisky...
    oo hold the fancy name wines...i will take more of the first...smiles.

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  2. Great poem. I really enjoy reading your writing. :-)

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  3. I can see, smell, and taste this. Evocative writing.

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  4. Oh you put me right in that scene - very evocative!

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  5. i like that place between slumber and reality....

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  6. You REALLY paint a vivid picture, and use word sounds to their fullest. I particularly like
    So I can taste the call
    Of beaches, feel the electric
    Radio waves of phone calls

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  7. Thank you for this shard of your well spent youth ...for some reason i kept hearing Mike Oldfields "Moonlight Shadow " in the baxkground while i read your words...
    Cheers

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  8. Such strong imagery here ... all wrapped up in those road trips of youth (my memories melding with your poetry) ... there were a few lost weekends and this poem pretty much tells the tale.

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  9. You certainly painted a strong picture with your words...

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  10. This was a creative poem filled with a lot of images..cheap coffee at 3:00 am is never good.

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  11. Lots of great imagery in this poem, and not just one sense, such as sight. Great!

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  12. Your words draw a perfect picture caught in the middle of living one's life.

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  13. I think I can smell her, too…

    ;)

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  14. So deliciously evocative...all my senses came alive with this...

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  15. Every sense stimulated, I read through this tale to see where it would end... and you surprised me! Terrific writing.

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  16. This is an excellent poem - you have really connected the reader to the experience through the long list of associations. I enjoyed this immensely.

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  17. What a powerful description of place.

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  18. This is lush with a season of nights, pregnant and heady and careening. You introduce a girl at the beginning but I'm not sure why ... is she the uncasked bottle?

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  19. Stacy Lynn, this reminds me of beat poetry. Each line is insistent, and pulls us along even as you weave the tale. Really well done ~

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  20. There is indeed a beat feel to this one - the potent association of a fixed place and memory, and the freeness of the cadence, but there's also the frankness of a confessionalist, especially in those opening lines "My girl reminds me
    Of cigars and whiskey The cheap coffee of
    3am gas stations" - great writing

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  21. Yes I see this wasn't done primarily for the article. This poem is primarily iambs and anapests. It has a natural rhythm that is gentle and easy and that fits the poem.

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  22. I used to live in the south and recently visited Savannah. There's a magic to the imagery you've invoked.

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  23. smiles....you have an easy rhythm to your writing typically and I think this is a good indication of your voice...a slight beat...loose yet driving on

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  24. Very evocative, and I like the easy rhythm.

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  25. The surprising associations make this a stunning piece.. And tying back to the title, there's an element of the strange line of thought one might have. At 3am in the morning.

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  26. Effortless in voice, so natural and evocative. Enjoyable to read.

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  27. You are every bit the poet Anne Sexton is. Your voice is very much like hers. The only thing I would suggest is changing "drank" to "drunk" in the last line. It is presently incorrect.

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Thank you for taking the time to comment, it is so appreciated. Your thoughts and critiques are always welcome! I will be by to visit your blog soon!