Thursday, September 18, 2014

Of Curtains and Closet Hangers


These early days of fall
Have been hazy in the
Soured stench of hospital beds
And linens never meant to be my own,
Muscle-sick in a ruffly skirt,
I’ve watched nurses and doctors
Examine my piss, poke and prod
The parts of me I’ve always hid diligently,
Tasted the wicked hangover
Of bitter antidepressants,
Those misguiding liars in assorted
Skittle-candy colors that dangle
An aspired happiness before my eyes.
I have watched cars leap past
My curtained window, so much life
Whizzing down this two-way side street.
Then me, trapped in a dead space
Between anxious psychosomatics
And the strangled smile I seem
To have placed on a hanger
In the closet, along with my favorite dress,
The one I’ll wear on a September date
With my girl, all pumpkin-orange
And smelling of something
Like caramel and cider
Once I’m finally feeling better.


Written for a prompt at Magpie Tales.


**I wrote this because for the last month, I have been sick, yet again!  Which would explain my lack of activity here.  First the flu/bronchitis thing.  Then an intestinal/bladder issue for which nothing 'worrisome' was found by a urologist.  Now I must see another specialist to try and see what the issue is.  It goes without being said that I'm exhausted and fed up with it all.  But I'm keeping my eyes on the sky and hoping it was only an aggravation from the antibiotic I had a few weeks ago.  :/

25 comments:

  1. Fell better soon--but I must say you turned this into wonderful verse!

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  2. What a hot, thick poem - you know, like a day whiplashed with humidity. So much hope, sadness, sorrow, bitterness, dreams wrapped up in your words; the poem packs a punch. And... bummer! I know how frustrating doctor jumping can be; may your visits get fruitful fast. In the meantime, feel better and keep writing it out! Wonderful work.

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  3. why can't our bodies be like those in our dreams where we float about not feeling pain or sickness but just observing life amidst the nebulousness of reality. Ooops! wake up.

    i think you will now feel better that you've purged and shared with us your pangs.

    hope you're able to leave that place where ills only piggy-back upon each other.

    gracias for sharing, mi amiga



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  4. Wow, amazing write. Especially the strangled smile on a hanger in the closet. Sounds like you've really been through it lately. Hoping they resolve things for you and that you're feeling much better soon. Hugs xoxo

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  5. I do hope this is not a serious issue ... I don't know when I've read a poem inspired by events like these ~ nicely done!

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  6. I, too, hope it is a reaction to the antibiotics and nothing worse. Do keep us posted, Stacy. You must be very tired of it all, with it going on so long. I smiled at the mental image of you dressed up in pumpkin-orange! The strangled smile image is very powerful!

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  7. not something anyone would wish.. the line "And linens never meant to be my own" sticks in the mind... very well put. hope you'll be feeling better soon!

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  8. What an ordeal to be sick like that.. very vividly described .. but I hope you get through into the autumn bliss of caramel and cider :-)

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  9. You captured the whole experience well in your write, Stacy. The reader was right there with you. I hope your next month will be much better!

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  10. Hiya Stacey, For me this is the best write of the night - you triggered fully, you have a very strong voice which is also fresh and technically very adept. Lots to love here like:

    "poke and prod
    The parts of me I’ve always hid diligently..."

    AND

    "the strangled smile I seem
    To have placed on a hanger
    In the closet..." With Best Wishes Scott

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  11. Hi! I hope you have the caramel and cider after you feel better ~ Take care ~

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  12. You have captured the feeling of vulnerability we experience in the hands of doctors and nurses. Hope you get better soon.

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  13. I could feel you mood it is not easy when you feel sick. I hope you recover soon.

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  14. Holy Crap! You poor darn kid! I thought I was reading something written by Silvia Plath.
    I send you a bright yellow balloon on a black string for you to let go, as the right medicine chases those maladies away....and, Stacy, this was a well scripted piece!
    ZQ

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  15. "Skittle-candy colors that dangle
    An aspired happiness before my eyes."

    This is wickedly brilliant. Feel better soon :-)

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  16. could feel the frustration and bitterness of it all..love the brightness in the end...hope you feel better soon Stacy...

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  17. Hospital visits and stay is indeed frustrating, hope all is well.

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  18. You have turned unhappy experiences into a vivid and meaningful poem.

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  19. You've detailed an accurate experience of a mental health patient. I must applaud you for it!!!

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  20. The feelings are so well expressed... accurate and wonderful...

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  21. I am just finally recovering from surgery and I felt the frustration and anger here as I felt it too...I loved your hard in your face feelings...raw and true....I hope you feel better soon.

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  22. if I had a good folk remedy I'd give it, but i don't, so only - I'm glad to read you again, Stacy ~

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  23. If only writing this great stuff could cure what is ailing you. Powerful write. It is amazing how the experience of hospital and "linens not meant to be your own" can bring out great expression of the angst of illness.

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Thank you for taking the time to comment, it is so appreciated. Your thoughts and critiques are always welcome! I will be by to visit your blog soon!