Hello fellow seekers of the muse!
In addition to the NaPoWriMo and my aspiration to read as much poetry as I possibly can this month (I'm on book three right now!) I also will be partaking in April Moon, a blogging/journal-writing/self-reflective project created and overseen by the beautifully creative Kat McNally. If you recall the December Reverb, then you'll remember pretty much how this little networking/blogging experience is designed.
Kat was such a dear to send us a free Oracle reading from a beautiful deck of cards she created. (You can read all about her cards here.)
She asked us to choose which card really called to us:
And as soon as I saw this picture, my eyes went directly to #2. There was no doubt in my mind that my card was to be #2.
And so the reading for this card was:
Ideas you may wish to carry with you:
* Patience, serenity, solitude
* Focus, precision, determination
* Inquisitiveness, resourcefulness
This reading really resonated with me and the place that I find myself at in life right now. I'm working hard on my writing. I have two manuscripts that are eagerly awaiting respectful publishing homes (for which I'm eagerly seeking!). I work diligently each day on my independent press Pink.Girl.Ink. I have a gothic novella that, thus far, is only halfway written. And I feel as if I'm ever-searching for a job position in the vocation of Addiction Counseling. A career is important to me, yet I also believe that what is mine will eventually come to me and my ideal job will arrive in due time.
So when I read the description for the card which so innately seemed to call to me...all the elements of the Heron seemed to fit into my goals and my life's work as, perhaps, an omen of good things to come and insight into what I should continue to do (and am doing).
I'm going to carry that bit of insight and thoughtful motivation with me as I complete the NaPoWriMo and April Moon projects this month.
Okay, so off to Day #1 of April Moon
When I first read this prompt, I'll admit, it seemed daunting to me. What had I left lately? I had no idea...
And then, as I began to analyze the last year of my life, I realized that I'd actually moved on from quite a few toxic, unhealthy, self-degrading things (or habits, if you will). The kinds of things that you do (but don't even realize you're doing it for a long time) that only wound your spirit and stifle your energy (especially creative energy).
Maybe I'm becoming wise, or just finally realizing it's not worth my time...but I've stopped making the effort to force relationships, friendships... have communication with any extended family who doesn't want and wish the best for me. I've even stopped in my eager awaiting of jobs I recently interviewed for.
Somehow, amid the chaos of my life, the epiphany sort of dawned on me that if you have to really force things, if things do not happen naturally and with ease, or with a feeling of ease, or sorta on their own...mutually...that maybe they are not meant to be. Perhaps those jobs, friendships, the confinement of closed-minded folks....these people and things simply are not where I'm supposed to be.
I have finally come to accept this....need for approval from others is no longer needed. I no longer seek it. And in doing so, I've left a lot of people in the dust of my past. Extended family members that only seem to negate the negative energy of the world. Jobs that would only stifle my creativity or force me to regress and perform from a place of knowledge for which I've exceeded (I want to be challenged, to use the full knowledge of my education in whatever vocation I finally arrive at). I feel I've left people who just generally either just falsely judge me, or those who do not know me well enough to understand me, as well as those who (for whatever reason) have ill-will towards me.
Life's too short to waste time and energy, even money or resources, on people, things, situations, and relationships that either 1) take you nowhere or 2) only take from you
I'm done with people pleasing. I'm also done with forgiving and forgetting people who hurt me, or those who are not real with me. I'm done with apologizing or making excuses for my life...I'm happy with my lifestyle. And I'm most definitely not even interested in defending the vocation of my writing or any of my professional projects...if these things are important to me and mean something to me, well then that's all that matters. Those who can't be happy for me, or supportive, don't have to partake in my personal journey.
I just don't feel the need (not even the smallest inkling) to communicate with people who aren't truly interested in communicating with me. I'm also steering clear of naysayers, drama queens, dishonest souls, and those who seem to be continuously surrounded by negative energy. I don't want to attract these things to me, and I don't want anything to do with their bad karma!
And now that I have closed that chapter in my life, I'm free to fill that new space with people who are like-minded and worthy of the things I have to offer, the knowledge/thoughts I have to share. Kind souls who share the same interests as me.
I decided a while back to put my intention into the world, for the types of people I want to meet. The friendships that will inspire and move me, motivate and encourage me...creative, deep-thinking, all-loving, positive, different people who search their souls (and their worlds), who try to find joy in the everyday, who foster a sense of creativity. Yes...these are the types of people I intend to meet. Poets, artists, the do-gooders of the world. The authentic, eccentric, artistic, happy people of the world...those are the friendships, the family (perhaps I'm willing to adopt a new one of my own heh) I intend to meet, make, to partake with me in this journey of life.
I feel that once these intentions are set (they already are) and placed into the world, the universe has no choice but to send forth the same energy I send into this vast, and sparkling world. And I believe it will be returned in full!