Saturday, March 19, 2016

Another Poem Inspired me to Write This Poem

......but I will leave that poem unnamed, because after the first paragraph of this poem, I took my ideas in a completely different direction than originally planned (which is usually the way with inspiration, sort of has a mind of its own).

The prompt came from my creative people at the glorious, poetic Toads page.

Dancing in a Strange Room

The day was humid,
Air grainy of pollen seed
And the smell of freshly-cut weeds..
We were riding into the country,
A romantic getaway, two bottles
Of Pepsi between us as the world
Slid by, a series of still-life photos
Of decaying farmhouses and a shanty
Community church where a
Paint-chipped Jesus beckoned from
A crooked cross like a relic from
Someone’s forgotten Halloween party.

He spoke of his new Pontiac Sunfire,
The color candy-apple red,
And of paychecks and back-taxes
As I laid my head across his shoulder
And thought about rosaries, tried to
Mention the colors of curtains
We would eventually need for
The new place we would buy
But he wasn’t listening.

He parked the car,
Spinning the wheels one time
To kick up the dust,
A choking cloud of roadside
Sediment and country-mile mud;
Told me to keep quiet about
Our secret place as we ran
Hand-in-hand, giddy as the kids
We were, beyond fields of wildflower
That choked our ankles, 
Four sneakers screeching as we 
Climbed the chain-link fence,
Two seventeen-year-old delinquents,
Only no one ever knew.

How sweet the fresh smell of wood,
Pine tree trunk turned log mansion,
Four eyes wide of newly-renovated rooms
Where, like villains of the 8pm hour,
We soaked in hot tubs full with
Shiny chrome fixtures
And danced our kisses across carpet
Thick enough to drown our feet
Before we emerged, finally, into the
Yellow moon of a new night
And crossed fields full of fog and firefly,
Fresh-sexed silhouettes, half-dreaming.


  1. This is just delicious, Stacy Lynn. You do something wonderfully vivid with description. I love the story-telling tone of the poem, the adventure (and mischief)... And goodness gracious, I adore that ending! ♥

  2. This is a wonderful memory, filled with young love and hope. Yet the hint of a coming end just as it begun. Not wanting to talk about curtains really tells a story heard many times before.

  3. You captured my imagination from the first lines and held it - this kind of poetry takes the reader on a journey, from which they may not return unchanged.

  4. This is wonderful, Stacey. Agree with Kerry that you really capture the reader from the beginning of this story with your vivid details so succinctly told. The story takes really a rather surprising twist. Very well done throughout. Thanks for participating in the prompt with this very alive poem. K.

  5. Before we emerged, finally, into the
    Yellow moon of a new night
    And crossed fields full of fog and firefly

    So much of blessings to look forward to for the future. It is most refreshing for a young couple to start afresh. Love this kind of ending Stacy!


  6. This is pretty much my picture of romance, growing up in the Midwest. Pepsi, turning doughnuts in the dust, wildflowers, and Jesus. What an evocative piece. Thank you.

  7. This is so rich in the feelings it evokes....that nostalgia for the giddiness of young love and its secret places ;-)

  8. You should name the poem (only because I'm curious :) - the rules said it could scamper off in a totally different direction. LOVED "Paint-chipped Jesus beckoned from
    A crooked cross like a relic ..." and the whole poem is fresh and a wonderful prosaic piece.

  9. Such vivid imagery..."Fresh-sexed silhouettes, half-dreaming." Love that line!


Thank you for taking the time to comment, it is so appreciated. Your thoughts and critiques are always welcome! I will be by to visit your blog soon!