Tuesday, October 4, 2016

'No Go' Wednesday

I was dazzled by the sky more than the date...


We dined inside an old Italian
place with chipped Spanish tiles and
walls stained from the
dew of some other woman's
'better days.'  A place with
leather seats stiff as old rags,
yet our ankles found the warm bone
of one another and I smiled
into his eyes, two spotlights caught
between a reflection of the
brightly-lit window panes and
the old phantom ache of some girl
who'd gambled his last eight years
for the bright lights of a
New York City night.
It was a tearful glassful of wine,
a story he wouldn't allow me to forget.
I stifled the double-edged swallow
of my throaty comebacks with basil,
ate a Gelletto made of Spain
and nervously twisted my fingers
into a fresh fistful of bruise
and bid the bore a Shakespearean salute
before walking my stilettos past
a maze made of concrete and stoplights,
corners where young girls smoked cigars,
flashy as something newly born
as the cold evening oozed it's dead-weight fingers
between the holes yarn left in my knit sweater,
my whole being a chest-full of headache,
wishing I could rewind this day
and waiting for the jingle beat of a message
for which I'd just as easily press 'delete.'
Tired of busy conversation,
meaningless as talk-show drone,
I turned my wayward eyes toward
the window of night and awaited the dazzle
of my old friend Mr. Crater Moon.
October born the sky a bedful of stars
and I had no other choice but to
walk the elbows of my thoughts
across the sharp, silk reverie like
a double-crossed heart on old knees.


written to a prompt shared at dVerse.

17 comments:

  1. I love the way you have evoked the atmosphere in the restaurant - It reminded me of the only time I've ever visited New York. My favourite lines:
    '...yet our ankles found the warm bone
    of one another and I smiled
    into his eyes...'
    , two spotlights caught
    '...before walking my stilettos past
    a maze made of concrete and stoplights,
    corners where young girls smoked cigars'
    and
    'October born the sky a bedful of stars
    and I had no other choice but to
    walk the elbows of my thoughts
    across the sharp, silk reverie like
    a double-crossed heart on old knees.'

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  2. Stunning. Just stunning.
    THIS:
    "I stifled the double-edged swallow
    of my throaty comebacks with basil"

    and "the elbows of my thoughts" -- LOVE.

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  3. I'm going to borrow De's word, STUNNING! You've painted an amazing picture with your words here. I am in this restaurant, I am in this girl's soul. From the "tearful glass of wine" to nevously swisted fingers into "a fresh fistful of bruise" -- I feel for this woman, right down to the very last four lines. You have made this person, and her life, come alive.
    I am definitely bedazzled by your writing here!

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  4. Excellent poem. I loved being there with this woman.

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  5. Splendid, evocative and eloquent! I really felt the emotion in this.

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  6. I love how you created scenery a narrative, each line added like brushstrokes on a canvas... and just to add another phrase "the dazzle of my old friend Mr Crater Moon"

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  7. Wow, this piece is incredibly good--very strong writing about time spent in /a place with leather seats stiff as old rags/. I was impressed by the caliber of writing, since most of us just skimmed the poetic possibilities, & dove in shallow to the prompt. Those cigar smoking young women will haunt me.

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  8. Food made of Spain...brilliant...a wonderful, evocative piece of writing.

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  9. Nice! I like the warm bones finding each other. Very earthy and human.

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  10. Nice! I like the warm bones finding each other. Very earthy and human.

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  11. An impressive piece of writing...bravo!

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  12. I am dazzled by the skill and depth of your writing. I adore the phrase "walk the elbows of my thoughts".

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  13. The metaphors in this are stunning! Beautifully written.

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  14. This is fantastic. I particularly loved this line:

    ate a Gelletto made of Spain

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Thank you for taking the time to comment, it is so appreciated. Your thoughts and critiques are always welcome! I will be by to visit your blog soon!